In defense of self

(no photographers were harmed creating this image)

Excuse my language but today I did a pretty kick-ass thing.  Just thinking about it; merely typing about this new adventure, gets my heart pounding and makes me all jittery inside.  Let me explain how awesome it was...and actually tell you what I did.

As a business owner, and as a woman, I have learned a thing or two about how to run a business and handle a plethora of situations.  Two things I will discuss:  1)  The inability or challenge to say, "No" to people we want to please.  2)  Saying "I'm sorry"...as in, saying it too much.

Growing up female, in the United States and in the *cough* 70's...I was told, taught, observed, that all "good girls" are helpful and help people whenever they can...even if you don't want to or it is somehow detrimental to yourself.

Saying, "Please," "Thank you," "I'm sorry" and using other pleasantries were demanded of all of the "ladies".....

Unlearning these behaviors are not easily.  Especially at my age.

I know, I know...get to the STORY!

Today was my first, introductory class of Krav Maga.

(Sweet baby Jesus, you say....What is THAT?)

You can Google it in all of it's awesome splendor.  But I will tell you this....I am IN LOVE.

Preparing for Kenya has got me thinking about things I don't usually think about in my capacity as a photographer.  One obvious one for me was to get into shape for my daily 7 mile hike in the desert (Unless it is the swampier rainy season).  The not so obvious one is...self defense.

BUT OF COURSE!

So I will skip to the the awesome parts of the class that I loved the most.  The whole class.

The class began with a warm up and then we played this flag football game...without the football.  We were to keep our "flags" we were wearing and remove the opponent flags around their waist.  I could have done this the whole hour.  I was literally giggling out loud like a school girl.  

(And I have not been a school girl for a very long time.)

After learning proper technique we practiced hitting and kicking other people.  It was such a workout.  I sweated from every pore on my body.  

Then came the attackers.  We were attacked on the ground and had to get the other person off of us before we could be choked to death (in theory).  It was shockingly easy and fun once I had down the technique and I could throw off other women or really big guys.  Size did not "appear" to matter and, actually seemed to work in my favor, somehow.  

Self discovery here:

I have NO idea (well, I do, actually...I blame my upbringing), why I could throw off a man with no apology, but every time I throw off a woman, I instinctively apologized and hoped she was Ok and that I hadn't hurt her.  It was SO lame.  At one point I would just start laughing because the apology would just slither out without a thought.  This made me mad at myself.  WHY did I have to say, "I'm sorry?"  Am I so programmed that I can't stop myself?  I don't have an answer to this question, but I can tell you that I'll be thinking about this a lot before the next class.  I will NOT apologize again for removing, "an aggressor."

The competitive part of me was really diggin'' this one guy who would kick at me like he was going to kill me.  When it was my turn to kick him I told him that I remembered that he had kicked hard I was going to kick back, hard!  Same with punches.  I took him from the middle of the floor all the way against the wall.  I don't think I was "suppose" to do that, but it felt damn good.

Now I'm empowered.  

(And will go back just to beat up that one guy.)

AWESOMENESS!

By September, I will be ready for Kenya.  I hope I won't have to use any of the skills I learn in the class, but if I do, I need to be ready.

So....Have an awesome week and challenge yourself.  You just might surprise yourself in what you can do or what you can learn about yourself.