The short answer

The other day I was asked a question, a good question.  The question was this:  "Are you Jennifer Raudebaugh Photography, or are you "Cannon Hill Photo"?

The short answer is this:  I am registered with both the city and state as Jennifer Raudebaugh Photography, LLC".  This registered entity is so long that on some forms the same name does not fit.  I was not blessed with a short name...add "Photography" and your fingers might swell from all the typing.  Additionally, I'm pretty much the only person (besides my husband) who can spell my last name. (I kept my maiden name for professional reasons.)

That, right there is the main reason my name is not my website name!  Everyone queried could spell Cannon Hill Photo (Cannon Hill is a nearby park here in Spokane), and if by chance someone types in "Canon" instead of "Cannon", I have that covered in the search.

Short. Easy to spell.  Easy to remember.  Unlike my name.

But, as always, the check is written out to me!

Jennifer Raudebaugh Photography

(AT  CannonHillPhoto.com)

Inspiration where you find it

People find inspiration in different things, or different places.  Perhaps this is a silly post, but I was thinking about WHERE I find inspiration the most; Where I have the most moments of clarity or find a solution to a challenge or a creative way of looking at things.  It's good to know yourself.  And so I did some thinking.

And WHERE did I do my thinking, you may ask.  Several "locations". Right at this very moment I'm sitting in bed with the electric blanket radiating it's goodness all over my body while I type!  While sometimes it is true that I get inspiration in bed dreaming, that is more unusual.  Usually, my best thoughts occur when I can't sleep, or I am on the verge of sleep; that semi lucid place in your head where reality and dreams get all tangled up in each other.  I know I am awake, but part of me is not.  Perhaps it is the conscious and the unconscious talking to each other... Epiphanies have happened there!

Another one of the locations where I can be assured to get clarity on a shoot, or inspiration, is in the shower or soaking in the tub.  I think five minutes have gone by, but when I get out twenty minutes has easily come and gone.   The sound of the water, the smell of the soaps, the warm washing over me..and then the blissful silence as I push out any background noise and delve into a deeper place of being.....

The idea for this post came from sitting in the sauna at the gym....which got me thinking....(laughter here!)
The real location of my problem solving/inspiration is not a place as much as it is a feeling inside me.  I'm pretty certain that the location could in fact be anywhere that was:
1) warm
2) safe
3) quiet
4) uninterrupted

Add these ingredients into my life, stir in a bit of hot chocolate, or coffee, or warm tasty beverage, and watch out world!



Where do you find your inspiration?  Is it easy to find?

nibble

Coming up this month is a shoot that I am extra excited about.  Sure I get excited about all my shoots, but this one involves chocolate.  LOTS of chocolate.  I've photographed food and chocolates before (see website for a handful of samples), but never of this volume of chocolates (several seasons of styles and product lines), and with such an amazing amount of creative direction given to me.  Obviously, I keep within the style of the brand and marketing requirements that I have been given during meetings, but concept through post production will be self-directed.  A bit of Peter Pan meets Alice in Wonderland...it will be a magical shoot.  My lovely client has been sending snap shots of the samples she is creating for the shoot and it keeps my creative juices flowing!  I find ideas and inspiration in surprise places.  Once this project has been completed I may link to a behind the scenes slideshow of how some of the pieces were shot.... but for now, not wanting to give more information away, I should just say there will be some fantastic creations coming this way mid month.  I just wanted to give you a taste; a little nibble...

This is one project I can really sink my teeth in...

(Sorry- I couldn't help myself)

I, Spy....

Event Photography is something special.  Not to be confused with Wedding Photography where ulcers are created and explode on the same day.  (That is a different kind of beast.)  Some think shooting an event means showing up and shooting whatever you see, which is not the case.  Or SHOULD not be the case.  There are a whole lotta great things about shooting events...perhaps it is a different city, a different building, new room, lighting conditions....and different people.  ALWAYS different people.  Not many people discuss this interesting topic framed within photography..... how one person will change the dynamic of a group.  Not just change the vibe in little ways but in magnificent or tragic or amusing ways; that transfer to the image in a wondrous and fascinating way.  The photographer is invited into a private world.  Your private world.

Have you heard of "Elevator etiquette"?  There are a surprising number of Google pages just on this topic, (like this one: Elevator Etiquette).  You can learn a lot about a person by how they behave on an elevator full of people OR at an event.  I have seen it all (I think!).

Let's say you are having a funny conversation in the elevator with your coworker...the door opens and your boss enters, smiles, and turn his back (or perhaps turns towards you and stares at you).  What do you do?  Either case....You probably fall silent and become your super-professional-self.  This may be an obvious case, but it happens at events too.  Someone who is nervous and self conscious will behave totally different in an elevator than, lets say, the head of the high school football team.  Or Donald Trump.  Next time you are in an elevator, watch and see.  If you DO watch someone, I don't care WHO it is, if you are on an elevator, it will make them nervous and twitchy.  Something about being locked in a box with a stranger will do that to a person.  (Sorry...now I am off topic...but just a bit.)

Going back to Event Photography....  I get to see this.  ALL of these interactions.  They are small, sometimes fleeting looks of terror, disdain, distrust, joy, sadness, doubt, anger...every feeling...wash over a person's face in milliseconds.  People try to hide their thoughts, but the camera is faster; it catches looks and feelings; the smallest muscles reacting to a thought.  It can't be helped.  

When I enter a room to shoot an event I am not only looking at lighting or for distractions, but at groups of people.  How they are interacting together...and what happens when a new person joins the group; how the dynamic changes.  I can tell who likes who. Who has a crush on who, or if someone does not like or trust someone else.  I study the groups of people to see which group is the most lively...perhaps the group who is the most emotional or who perfectly frames the feeling of the event.  I circle the many groups continuously; watching as the groups evolves throughout the event.  Who enters or leaves the group? How does that person change other peoples behavior?   The changes are fascinating!

It is the only time and place where I can stand, camera up near my face, and just stare and study humans.    Sometimes someone will smile, or blush, or nudge the other members of the group to look over at me.  Sometimes I get a disapproving or angry face and with that, I move on.  Occasionally I wave and smile, but I want to catch people being people...not showing off for the camera or posing.  Being natural.  Which is to say, being naturally nervous, or happy, or sad, or frustrated....Whatever is going on. Whomever has the best expressions;  I am all over them..."secretly" watching.  Being a spy.

Why!

Last week I queried my Facebook friends for ideas for this blog; what would they like me to discuss or share on this blog.  Two of my friends, Lucas and Jennifer asked this:  "WHY did you become a photographer?"  This question made me laugh...because it stumped me.  There wasn't a simple or obvious answer for me like, "How did you become a photographer?"  How and Why are just so different...and I had simply not thought about it before, so I found the question interesting.

So...I thought about the question for a day or so, thank you very much, and came up with this... (And it is WEIRD....What else would you expect from me?)

It wasn't really a conscious decision.  I didn't say, "When I grow up I want to be a photographer."  It didn't enter my mind.  It just evolved over time.  

Not helpful or insightful, right?  OK... I have Business Management degree and a background in art, and have been thinking about business development for...years!  As a child, I would draw "magazines," duplicate them by hand, and sell them door to door (for like a dime).  My neighbors were kind and would buy them every now and then.  This only encouraged me, of course....And it grew into selling girl scout cookies and those terrible fundraising calendars for school projects.  By the time I reached college I had already designed my "clothing store" and my first "line" of clothing.  All on paper...with ads and a detailed marketing strategy all mapped out.  So....business, marketing, and art was already a natural thing for me to do; the degree just gave me more insight and knowledge.

The camera was just accidentally introduced later in life.  Yes-I had owned many cameras, even as a child, but I was really a point and shooter....I thought nothing of composition or lighting or choosing any settings other than on, off, and shoot.  Then my husband purchased me my first serious camera...a point and shoot with function buttons; (OoOoOooooo  choices)!  This was for me to use in my design business (creating logos and for the occasional painting...for me to paint what I shot).  I was less than enthusiastic.  But then I started shooting...and learning.  I took thousands of photos.  It was insane.  But I was learning, and then I started selling....which clicked into the business part of my brain.  Better equipment was purchased.  The artistic part of my brain AND the business part of my brian was challenged and I gained traction, began getting published, selling more, getting contracts, more experience, and it snowballed...I knew I needed to become licensed and pay taxes, so I did everything I needed to do to become an official licensed entity and protect my work...…  It just happened....With a lot of work and thought, piece by piece.

There were lots of little "goals" and larger project and challenges that I wanted to do or work on....My tool just happened to be a camera and my post production programs were just another tool I could use to give my clients the look they wanted.  I love that I can be creative, meet fantastic people, and see amazing things.  It is everything I wanted to do...but I never thought I would be doing THIS!  I have a great deal of fun (and work) and it pay the bills.  I work with and for an amazing group of people!

How and Why are all mixed up within this blog, I suppose.  It is hard to separate the two.  A short answer is this.  WHY I do it...because I like doing it.  It is challenging and clicks into my need for order (business), and art (the image).  I do it because I like studying  people and can do so from behind the camera.  I can be bossy too.  I have found I like directing people and taking charge.  I like being organized and problem solving.  I like to create....and to be independent at times; collaborate in other times.  I like meeting people and hearing their stories.  I find people fascinating.  The older they get, the better the stories they have!

Life is full of interesting twists and turns and everyone has a story or how, and WHY they ended up doing what they do.  Sometimes things are planned for, but in this instance, it was the little choices I made that led me to the path that I am on now.  I wouldn't change a thing.  (Except it would be really cool to be the official photographer for the President of The United States, whoever it is.)  I don't have big dreams, do I?

I hope that answered your question....

So-Why are you doing what you are doing?  What are your dreams?  (Comment below!)

(What might you want to hear about next week that is photography related?)

Hi, fashion!

Fashion and I go back.  Way back.  All the way back to college.  Originally I set my sights on being a fashion designer; something about wanting to be the next Coco Chanel.  I wore skirts, dresses, and hats almost religiously.  My coat and handbag collection was crazy!  There was one small detail.  I cannot sew.  I hate sewing.  Love fabric and design and drawing, but all of the shirts I sewed in my classes were absolutely terrible.  And heart wrenching.  Perhaps I get impatient in a way that I don't with my photography.  In any event, I obviously did not become a designer, but ended up on the other side of the camera as a photographer.

Spokane, in the past, has not had much of a fashion scene, but that is slowly changing.  This is a natural fit and a bit exciting for me.  There is something very different about shooting a model who is comfortable in front of the camera and has a box of poses that can be drawn from.  It is also eye opening to be able to direct a model and have them move into position with clear confidence; they move like water.  I love the clothing, the style, the hair, the makeup...I get all excited and begin salivating just thinking of it. 

I hope to do more of the fashion photography, and there is a fashion show I will be shooting next month....It is intriguing, though I see continuing my commercial work for large clients;  It just makes sense and I love my clients!  Never knowing what I will be shooting or where I may go, or who I may see, is a big draw of the job for me.  I like all of the current challenges and projects that are lining up on the calendar this year...always something different!  So....Hi, Fashion!  Perhaps I will become more "High Fashion" myself!

Be stylee!  Be awesome!

The Gambler

(when one sidewalk closes, another one opens.)

Kenny Rogers song, "The Gambler" has some pretty sweet lines.  This is My new Theme song and speaks to the situation at hand, perfectly.

It is hard, at least for me, to cut my losses and move on.  Sometimes I am prone to "run" a bit late...because I think something is SO awesome.  My husband will tell you I am like a Pit Bull who won't let go of something I want.  It can be a good thing (like motivation), or bad.  Don't think for a moment I don't research something and that I am describing impulsiveness; this is not the case.  I research for weeks on end, staying up late at night....and plan for A.  B.  and C.  I don't not leave the outcome to fate and I am passionate for challenges; looking for unique opportunities.  Sitting back waiting for something to happen is not my style. Making things happen IS my style.  But like almost everyone else, it is hard to cut a loss and move on.

This post has been typed and re-typed MANY times, but they never came out right; to say what I really wanted it to say.  There are too many details and way too many unknowns.  There are confusing, conflicting details; two months worth, and they are frankly hard to keep straight at this point.  And it is hard to think about.  And hard to let go.  My intent to not to sound sour, but inform as I can, with little to no information.

The trip to Africa is over.  No gallery show this month either.  I received this message via phone text.  I have no explanation.  Nothing.  I have 59 theories of what happened but nothing concrete.  And I won't be speculating here on the blog.  The PM did not know this...but I had lined up a book publisher for the project as well as a Seattle show in the spring....I did a lot of footwork here, and it is done.  Over.

It is hard not be sour or disappointed or angry at how it turned out, but I think of it this way.  The last time I read about Africa was in high school.  I knew nothing of African culture or geography.  With all of the research I did I think I could write a tour guide to Kenya without even going.  I learned through from oral stories from the PM about Massai culture, music, dance, traditions, food, (And I can make some really killer Kenyan Tea!).  I learned about his language and songs...about the hierarchy of the genders, responsibilities of woman, the animals that are hunted and eaten, politics, transportation, seasons of animal migrations, challenges of live in the village, medical care information that has been passed down from generation to generation, and the similarities and differences between cultures.  For two months I delved deeper into Kenyan/Massai culture then I have any other culture other than my own.  It drove my husband crazy...many late nights...(And I thank you, Jesse!) For that, it has been an eye opening, wonderful experience...and now my family wants to go!  The Rift Valley, the birthplace of humans, awaits!

So-now we are free to go on our own, on our own time, and perhaps see some of the things, and meet some of the people, that the PM spoke so fondly of.  Our passports are ready, we know what we will pack, I have most of my equipment,  and we know what shots we need....

So-if you know of anyone who needs photos from Africa...just let me know.  The bags have been packed and are ready to go.

Love ya's-

PS-Making lemonade from lemons that you are handed, isn't so hard after all.  I'll even share the recipe!  

In defense of self

(no photographers were harmed creating this image)

Excuse my language but today I did a pretty kick-ass thing.  Just thinking about it; merely typing about this new adventure, gets my heart pounding and makes me all jittery inside.  Let me explain how awesome it was...and actually tell you what I did.

As a business owner, and as a woman, I have learned a thing or two about how to run a business and handle a plethora of situations.  Two things I will discuss:  1)  The inability or challenge to say, "No" to people we want to please.  2)  Saying "I'm sorry"...as in, saying it too much.

Growing up female, in the United States and in the *cough* 70's...I was told, taught, observed, that all "good girls" are helpful and help people whenever they can...even if you don't want to or it is somehow detrimental to yourself.

Saying, "Please," "Thank you," "I'm sorry" and using other pleasantries were demanded of all of the "ladies".....

Unlearning these behaviors are not easily.  Especially at my age.

I know, I know...get to the STORY!

Today was my first, introductory class of Krav Maga.

(Sweet baby Jesus, you say....What is THAT?)

You can Google it in all of it's awesome splendor.  But I will tell you this....I am IN LOVE.

Preparing for Kenya has got me thinking about things I don't usually think about in my capacity as a photographer.  One obvious one for me was to get into shape for my daily 7 mile hike in the desert (Unless it is the swampier rainy season).  The not so obvious one is...self defense.

BUT OF COURSE!

So I will skip to the the awesome parts of the class that I loved the most.  The whole class.

The class began with a warm up and then we played this flag football game...without the football.  We were to keep our "flags" we were wearing and remove the opponent flags around their waist.  I could have done this the whole hour.  I was literally giggling out loud like a school girl.  

(And I have not been a school girl for a very long time.)

After learning proper technique we practiced hitting and kicking other people.  It was such a workout.  I sweated from every pore on my body.  

Then came the attackers.  We were attacked on the ground and had to get the other person off of us before we could be choked to death (in theory).  It was shockingly easy and fun once I had down the technique and I could throw off other women or really big guys.  Size did not "appear" to matter and, actually seemed to work in my favor, somehow.  

Self discovery here:

I have NO idea (well, I do, actually...I blame my upbringing), why I could throw off a man with no apology, but every time I throw off a woman, I instinctively apologized and hoped she was Ok and that I hadn't hurt her.  It was SO lame.  At one point I would just start laughing because the apology would just slither out without a thought.  This made me mad at myself.  WHY did I have to say, "I'm sorry?"  Am I so programmed that I can't stop myself?  I don't have an answer to this question, but I can tell you that I'll be thinking about this a lot before the next class.  I will NOT apologize again for removing, "an aggressor."

The competitive part of me was really diggin'' this one guy who would kick at me like he was going to kill me.  When it was my turn to kick him I told him that I remembered that he had kicked hard I was going to kick back, hard!  Same with punches.  I took him from the middle of the floor all the way against the wall.  I don't think I was "suppose" to do that, but it felt damn good.

Now I'm empowered.  

(And will go back just to beat up that one guy.)

AWESOMENESS!

By September, I will be ready for Kenya.  I hope I won't have to use any of the skills I learn in the class, but if I do, I need to be ready.

So....Have an awesome week and challenge yourself.  You just might surprise yourself in what you can do or what you can learn about yourself.

My Grandfathers Hat

My grandfather was always larger than life to me.  He was large in stature, loud in volume, and needed things his way.  There was a chair that was his too....Both in the living room and the dining room.  And one had better move as fast as fire if you were sitting in it when he entered the room.  He was a dapper kind of man, too.  Not just because of the decade but because he was the union negotiator for Boeing.  He had to look serious and be serious...and a bit scary.  

There was always something mysterious about him for me.  When he retired, my grandmother and he purchased a Jet Stream trailer and hitched it to their 70's style truck and traveled from state to state, picking up souvenirs and stories and bringing them back to share.  My mother collected the postcards they would send and we would look at maps to see where they had been.  My grandparents were quite proud of their exploration of the United States.

My grandfather, being the dapper guy he was, had hats.  He had casual hats and dress hats.  Wool hats with a feather to one side, large straw hats, and my favorite....a suede and leather Indiana Jones kind of hat.  There are some photos of him without hats, but my favorite photos of him he is wearing a hat; even on vacation or on one of his adventures.  He wore his hats with style, attitude, and with a bit of a grin on his face like he was in on some sort of joke; always.

These hats my mother gave me after he died.  They were put in storage for several years...I just did not know what to do with them.  And then when I became a mom to a little boy, I knew just what to do.  My grandfathers hats ended up in my sons playroom.  Sometimes they were hung up high for decoration.  Sometimes they came down to wear and play with.  But they were often admired and would bring back fond, yet fuzzy memories of my own childhood.

Now I am looking at his hats and staring down the photo assignment to Kenya.  I have been spending WAY too much time looking online for clothing and supplies for the trip...including...looking for a suitable hat.  Why look any further?

This morning I tried on the Indiana Jones suede hat and it fit.  Not stylish on me, but it fit.  The hat is not waterproof, not packable, crushable, or washable.  It does not have a sweatband, but it does have vent holes.  No matter.  I am taking and wearing the hat to Africa.  My grandfather would have worn it and I think it would make him proud for me to wear it.  He never made it to Africa, but his granddaughter is going and will be bringing a bit of him in the form of a hat.  If the hat is lost, destroyed, stollen, eaten by a giraffe or falls off and is lost forever after running from a lion, I am OK with it.  It is the adventure for him and for me, that counts.  And if I end up leaving part of granddad there in Africa, I would be even more proud.  

That the man who walked me down the aisle at my wedding and gave me away at the altar is still helping me in life in the form of a really cool hat for my own adventures and travels in life...makes me smile.  

Thanks, grandfather!

Go Red!

What an honor it was to be chosen to photograph the American Heart Association Go Red Luncheon.  The  event was fabulous and well attended...and after the 3rd speaker, few eyes were without tears.  It amazes me that women in their 20's can have heart attacks...not something one thinks about unless they know someone who has had an attack.  It was  inspiring to hear the stories and a very important reminder of the symptoms of a heart attack (they differ from men's!)...And a very real warning that all women...I should say, EVERYONE, needs to take better care of themselves.  As one of the speakers said, "You take care of everyone and often neglect yourself.  Slow down!"  

So just stop it, OK?

I laugh when I say to you "take care of yourself" and "slow down" because I am SO am guilty of this too.  From 8am to 1:30 pm I was actively shooting this event.  I sat and stuffed my face between speakers and then would jump up when a new person was going to the podium to make sure I had them covered.  Then I would roam classrooms where there were presentations and scope out other angles from up high looking down, and all around.  I hate standing still for long.  Gotta keep moving.  It's just how life works, right?  You do what you have to do!  

It totally makes since that the American Heart Association Go Red event is in February along with Valentine's Day. It's about loving yourself enough to slow down to take care of your yourself...sometimes even first.  

Looking back at what I wrote almost makes me feel lame.  I am not trying to be sappy.  If anything this post is to remind me that I better step up and do a better job of being me.  I need to lay off the fat and sugar and jump on the treadmill more...not only for me...but for my family.  So this post, that has little to do with photography (except that I was there at the event to shoot it!), is more of a public promise that YOU get to hold me to.

So, Rock On this week and spread your awesomeness everywhere you go!  And keep reminding me, yourself, and all of the other women in your life to be good to themselves.

Love yas-

Jennifer 

PS-Photos here!   http://smu.gs/xtuhGM

Self doubt

Many months ago I was talking to another small business owner about the challenges and fears of being a business owner.  One of the topics that kept coming up was a bit of a surprise.  The woman who I was talking with is very self assured, motivated, outspoken and has a wonderful sense of self and motivation.....so I found it interesting when she admitted that fighting self doubt was one of the biggest challenges.  Some days, lets face it, we give into self doubt and just want to give up or just climb back into bed and pull the sheets up over our face.  But from HER?  No way!

It was enlightening!

Being stubborn, persistent and a bit arrogant and crazy are all very important in sustaining the drive to continue...with anything, perhaps.  Some days I know I need more help than others.
This week has been a weird week for me.  While there are some pretty big projects I have been working on  and I feel confident in my ability (including the usual research and trials), I found myself saying to myself "I suck" and "I am not good enough", and "why did they choose me?"  These questions are freaking me out because I don't know what the trip was that got me feeling that way.

My Business Manager hates when I get into these funks.  I think he said something like, "Artistic people are SO needy!"  (It was more of a groan than a true out statement.)

I guess what comes from these doubts and funks is something like motivation.  I mean, it could go both ways, right?  I could succumb to the doubt and just give up, or I can DO something about it...(which thankfully is what happens).  It usually means that I take a good hard look at what I have been doing and what I would like to do...and try to improve.  Make it better.  See things differently.  It means I die or I grow.  That is what I will be doing this week....growing in ability and inspiration.

 I hope you grow in your endeavor this week, whatever they may be...though without any doubt!

The First Post of Awesomeness

What a happy day!  The website is mostly done..just a few more things to do and my head can go back to photography (until I decide I need to update the site again!)

I can not believe it is almost February!  Time goes by way to fast lately and perhaps that is good because it means I'm busy....but every now and then it is good to slow down a bit.  But lets be honest...life rarely slows down.

Your input is really important to this blog and I hope I will hear from you.  While I have some ideas what I would like to blog about (Photography...Duh!), I would really like to be somewhat driven by your comments and questions.  We'll see what we can come up with.  But, do keep in mind I am a photographer and not a writer.

Mondays, in theory, will be my blog day...either with words, photos, or both.  It is a learning process, but I like the idea of mostly being photo driven.  If you know me personally, you will know that I can be wordy and if I have a lot to say I may add YouTube video links to get ideas across....and with the upcoming documentary trip to Kenya, it may be a good idea for me to get comfortable shooting and editing video.  Just don't laugh too hard!

And about the title.  I use the word "awesome" and "love" a lot.  Maybe too much.  But don't let it bother you...there will be much hand flapping and jumping up and down too, because that is just who I am.  Hopefully this will be more amusing than annoying.  Keep in mind that laughter is good for you.

Love yas!