The Gambler

(when one sidewalk closes, another one opens.)

Kenny Rogers song, "The Gambler" has some pretty sweet lines.  This is My new Theme song and speaks to the situation at hand, perfectly.

It is hard, at least for me, to cut my losses and move on.  Sometimes I am prone to "run" a bit late...because I think something is SO awesome.  My husband will tell you I am like a Pit Bull who won't let go of something I want.  It can be a good thing (like motivation), or bad.  Don't think for a moment I don't research something and that I am describing impulsiveness; this is not the case.  I research for weeks on end, staying up late at night....and plan for A.  B.  and C.  I don't not leave the outcome to fate and I am passionate for challenges; looking for unique opportunities.  Sitting back waiting for something to happen is not my style. Making things happen IS my style.  But like almost everyone else, it is hard to cut a loss and move on.

This post has been typed and re-typed MANY times, but they never came out right; to say what I really wanted it to say.  There are too many details and way too many unknowns.  There are confusing, conflicting details; two months worth, and they are frankly hard to keep straight at this point.  And it is hard to think about.  And hard to let go.  My intent to not to sound sour, but inform as I can, with little to no information.

The trip to Africa is over.  No gallery show this month either.  I received this message via phone text.  I have no explanation.  Nothing.  I have 59 theories of what happened but nothing concrete.  And I won't be speculating here on the blog.  The PM did not know this...but I had lined up a book publisher for the project as well as a Seattle show in the spring....I did a lot of footwork here, and it is done.  Over.

It is hard not be sour or disappointed or angry at how it turned out, but I think of it this way.  The last time I read about Africa was in high school.  I knew nothing of African culture or geography.  With all of the research I did I think I could write a tour guide to Kenya without even going.  I learned through from oral stories from the PM about Massai culture, music, dance, traditions, food, (And I can make some really killer Kenyan Tea!).  I learned about his language and songs...about the hierarchy of the genders, responsibilities of woman, the animals that are hunted and eaten, politics, transportation, seasons of animal migrations, challenges of live in the village, medical care information that has been passed down from generation to generation, and the similarities and differences between cultures.  For two months I delved deeper into Kenyan/Massai culture then I have any other culture other than my own.  It drove my husband crazy...many late nights...(And I thank you, Jesse!) For that, it has been an eye opening, wonderful experience...and now my family wants to go!  The Rift Valley, the birthplace of humans, awaits!

So-now we are free to go on our own, on our own time, and perhaps see some of the things, and meet some of the people, that the PM spoke so fondly of.  Our passports are ready, we know what we will pack, I have most of my equipment,  and we know what shots we need....

So-if you know of anyone who needs photos from Africa...just let me know.  The bags have been packed and are ready to go.

Love ya's-

PS-Making lemonade from lemons that you are handed, isn't so hard after all.  I'll even share the recipe!